Tips for choking under pressure in any situation

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As the new host of How To !, David Epstein, investigative journalist and author of Range and The sports genes, is ready to tackle listeners’ most difficult problems. As a former Sports Illustrated science writer, David’s first case is right up his alley. Juliet is a broker in her forties, who is one of the best tennis players in her community league, but under pressure can not stop choking. She is concerned about what people may think about her and that self-awareness is stifling her competitive advantage. On this week’s episode of How To !, Sian Beilock, president of Barnard College and author of Choke, reveals the science of why we sometimes play our worst when it matters most. Beilock says that it is very common for women not to be deterred from competition because they are afraid of being labeled ‘not nice’, and she has the tips to help Juliet, and the rest of us, get self-awareness through and out. to break the court. This transcript has been summarized and edited for clarity.

David Epstein: Juliet, can you tell us why you reached out to us?

Juliet: I played tennis in high school, but only then turned 45. When I picked it up again, I was immediately addicted. I practice now, practice, and the game I want to play is an athletes game. But when I’m on the tennis court, I get very self-conscious. I struggle to put aside, ‘Am I going to look stupid? Am I going to do something that will change people’s perceptions of me in a way I do not like? ‘

David: When you wrote in this, you mentioned a match against someone, you mentioned “frenemy”. Can you tell us about it?

Juliet: So this is a social friend who is also a broker, someone who can be on the other side of an agreement with me. I was just as focused on ‘do not look stupid’ and the more you think ‘do not look stupid’, you start doing things that are actually stupid. And I hit the same three or four shots over and over badly. [This was a doubles match, and the other team] start to see me choking so they hit me right and almost tease me. My partner ended up just saying, ‘Just try not to hit it even. Let me get everything. It was a very important match. If we had won that game, my team would have been the winners of the entire season. So I need to be able to do the mental piece to get to this next level.

Sian Beilock: I think Juliet hit the nail on the head that the spiritual aspect is so important here. And it sounds like she has a lot of the physical skill, but it’s about finding the right psychological tools to get the best performance when it’s the most important.

David: Sian, what made you personally interested in the science of choking?

Sian: I played high level football in the Olympic Development Program, and I had the worst game of my life before the national coach. I realized a bit in the game that he was standing right behind my goal. And just like Juliet, I remember being so self-conscious about everything – what clothes I wore, the temperature. I played awful. I could not do the kind of rescues I would normally do and let a ball through the front post, right under my arm, something I would save a thousand times in practice. The coach walked away and I knew that was it. I remember going home and being so frustrated and for the rest of my life not being able to notice how all the hard work I had done in this important aspect of my life disappeared within one second.

That experience really pointed me in the direction of wanting to understand human achievements, and to understand why if we want to perform so well, we are not making too much input. What made me realize is that in such stressful situations you can not allow your entry into chance. There are ways to practice getting ready for such situations. Clearly, Juliet cares a lot about what other people think of her, which is normal. And it’s an interesting situation, because it’s not like you’re playing an opponent and you never see them again. It adds this extra complexity to what is going on, because there is an abundance of what happens on the court in one’s social life. The first question I would ask you, Juliet, are you after the women who win, are not beautiful or not nice?

Juliet: Yes, and no. Some of the women I first met through tennis and then got to know them socially started intimidating me and I think it’s because I associate their personality on the court with who they are. And when I got to know them, I learned, oh, she’s a nice, normal person.

Sian: I would use it, right? You realize that you can have the game on the court and can really be a friendly person who probably has a lot of humility off the court. I would remember that people who live like this are doing well. I keep coming back to this psychological phenomenon that we often regard as the spotlight. It is the idea that we pay more attention to ourselves than to anyone else, because everyone pays attention to themselves. The best examples of this are when you raise your hand and say something that you consider foolish in a work meeting, and then later turn to your friend and ask, ‘Did you hear that remark? Oh my God, I’m so ashamed. “And your friend is like, ‘I can not remember.’ There is actually work that I have done and that others have done, which shows that if we remind ourselves of the spotlight phenomenon, it relieves the pressure.

David: What other practical tips might be helpful to Juliet?

Sian: We know that mantras can be really important. It could be that you write it on your hand during games, because in those moments where you tend to turn inward and focus on something outside, it can be helpful. In psychological terms, we talk about this as an approach strategy rather than an avoidance strategy. So when you avoid things, you try to avoid a negative outcome, but when you approach things, it’s about achieving something. It seems that the brain works differently in those situations, so think about why you want to win and why you do it. must winning can really matter. And I would say that this is something that often affects women and girls. We are very concerned about what others of us think, and there is the idea that being competitive and successful is contrary to a pleasant way. This is really something we have to fight against.

David: Juliet, you mentioned that you were affected by this mentality in your professional life, is that right?

Juliet: Yes, I also absolutely want a game face for business. And I think it will help to have this competitiveness that I can turn on. I have had a front seat almost all my life for the experience of someone who is going to win. And I sat back and let it be other people. I think it dawned on me as I got older, why can I not raise my hand and put myself in the middle for it? I think it’s built up of decades of women being rewarded for being cooperative and pleasant – the one who is willing to tackle things when asked, versus reaching out and affirming.

I was thinking about this the other day. When I was a brand new public defender, there were several of us who were all new together. Things became competitive when the time came for promotions, and it was a very clear gender line where all the women decided to sit back. Unbeknownst to the women, each of the men went to the management on their own and raised their hand for a faster promotion. They just saw it as what you do.

Sian: This is really an interesting story because new research is emerging – the Wall Street Journal did a study with McKinsey & Company last year – on women in the workplace. One of the things they show is that it’s at that second step where women start to fall off – boosting your initial position. It sounds like, Juliet, that’s exactly what you’re describing.

Juliet: I never even thought about being a competitor. Maybe it’s back to how I view myself. And being a public defender is, of course, a difficult, competitive job. You go in and the judge is perhaps bad, or you are against difficult witnesses. I guess I never really give myself credit for being competitive in these ways. And for some reason, sport is my last frontier.

Sian: It is really important to remind yourself that you are successful in this other area. And after hearing how Juliet describes everything, I am not at all worried that she will succeed in court as well.

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