But few people are as famous, as ambitious, as Marvel film greats, like Zendaya, who prefers to keep the hard work of herself largely private. Years ago, as a Disney Channel star, it seemed like she was planning to build her own mini-empire, making every expansion of her brand consumable. Today, her goals are narrower, with a focus on longevity. At the top of the list is figuring out who she is when she’s not in someone else’s head. “I recently played this card game thing, we are not really strangers, or whatever it is called,” she says. ‘One of the questions was’ What is a random compliment that strangers give you that makes you feel good? ‘
“For me, it’s when people say their kids watched me. They just say, ‘We’re really proud of you, girl. We are proud of you. Keep doing what you are doing. I see you.’ I’m just like ‘- and here Zendaya evokes a real, cheerful twitter -‘ ‘Aw, Thank you! ‘
“I feel like everyone’s becoming my aunt at that moment, and I’m just like, ‘Oh my God, I want to make you proud. ‘ You know? But that stuff really means a lot to me. I think … that I want to control everything, just not want to fuck. Not wanting to let anyone down. ”
We both sit still for a second or two and sit with the observation. Even a million supportive aunts have high expectations. Knowing what you want out of yourself is one thing. Know how you are – when your life is an endless refusal from one movie to another – is something else, especially if you are only 24 and skip the surface of what you can achieve in Hollywood.
It is very, I finally answer. I have to breathe.
“Helloooo!” she says laughing. ‘And it is why we talk to therapists. This is important. ”
Therapy, however, is another day. Tomorrow Zendaya has to go back to work.
Hunter Harris is a New York City based author.
A version of this story originally appeared in the February 2021 issue entitled “Zollywood.”
PRODUCTION CREDITS:
Photos by Tyrell Hampton
Styled by Law Roach
Hair door Ursula Stephen for A-Frame Agency
Make-up by Sheika Daley for SixK.LA
Customization by Jeff Gillies
Special thanks to Columbia Photos