These two cruel interruptions seem to have nothing in common, and yet both users’ Reddit posts indicated months in advance.
Researchers took posts from more than 6,800 users who posted in the subreddit r / BreakUps and guided them through a word processing program to analyze their language patterns in the year before the year after their dissolution. (r / BreakUps is an online forum on the social news platform Reddit, where more than 143,000 members post their diverse stories.)
At the time of exposing a user, there was an increase in the average use of self-directed words such as ‘I’ and ‘I’, which are personal pronouns, said lead author Sarah Seraj, a doctoral student at the University of, said. Texas and Austin.
The increase in self-directed words was noticeable three months before the dissolution and did not return to normal language patterns – measured by the average patterns of the poster four to twelve months before the break-up – until six months after the relationship ended.
There was also a sharp drop in the analytical thinking of a poster, which is a standardized measure of the formality of someone’s writing, Seraj said. The decline, which indicates an increase in personal narratives and informal writing, occurred because people were writing about deeply personal topics, she said.
Non-breakpoints showed similar patterns
Researchers have analyzed both a user’s posts in r / BreakUps and their posts in other Reddit forums, called subreddits. Self-focused words increased and analytical thinking declined at the time of the breakup, regardless of whether their messages were about their failed relationship, the researchers found.
“The consequences of the disintegration have been translated into other areas of their lives, even if they do not talk about it directly,” Seraj said.
At the time of the break, there was an increase in the user’s cognitive processing words such as ‘think’ and ‘must’, which are used when someone is trying to work through a problem, Seraj said.
There was also an increase in the collective thinking of a user – noticed by the use of the word ‘us’ during the dissolution, but it dropped back to normal levels within a few months.
“They can not really separate their partner’s identity from their own, so they use more ‘us’ words because they are talking about their shared life with their partner,” Seraj said.
Long-term posters take longer to return to normal
Users who posted five or more days in r / BreakUps took much longer before their language patterns returned to normal, compared to those who posted less than five days. While the analytical thinking of short-term users was back to normal two months after the breakup, it took six months, according to the study.
The study did not analyze why long-term users took longer, but Seraj hypothesized that their interruptions could have been sloppy, so that they needed more support, or that the user was constantly chewing on the relationship, preventing them from could move on.
For those still struggling six months after an outbreak, Seraj recommended talking to a therapist or asking for other professional help.
Reddit provides authenticity
It’s been difficult in the past to analyze the psychology of disruptions because it’s something personal, and ‘it’s not like we can go to people’s homes and stalk them and see how they are doing in their personal lives. , ” Seraj said.
On social media, people are posting a message about their daily lives at the moment. People leave traces of their emotional and psychological states in their online language, and these are available for researchers to look at.
Reddit users are also anonymous, which, according to Seraj, enables them to be more authentic online and share their personal stories without fear of returning to the real world.
Warning signs
This study proves that people spend a lot of time thinking about a fracture, said Gary Lewandowski Jr., a professor of psychology at Monmouth University in New Jersey, who was not involved in the study.
The results also showed “there are signs that you started disconnecting from your partner weeks before the time you ended the relationship,” Lewandowski said.
If you notice that you use more self-directed words like ‘me, me and mine’ when it comes to a relationship decision, it could be a sign that you have already decided, he said.
According to Lewandowski, there is another red flag over your partner, whether on social media or in real life.
In a good relationship, a lot of who you are is intertwined with your partner, he said. ‘If you’re talking bad about your partner, you’re essentially talking bad about yourself. ”
A way forward
Lewandowski recommended that they write about the positive aspects of their relationship for long-term outline posters so that they can shift their focus to the relationship as a whole.
While most people grieve the end of a relationship, he emphasizes that not all breakups are bad.
“If this relationship does not help us become a better person, it could end,” Lewandowski said.