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COVID-19 Statistics: Scary Coronavirus Figures in US
The first COVID case in the US was found in January 2020. One year later, the numbers surrounding the pandemic are alarming.
USA TODAY
Patricia Rust is doing everything she can to stay safe during the pandemic. Her husband, however, is not.
Rust, 68, a retired attorney in Clarksville, Tennessee, is militant over masked dress and social distance. But she says her 71-year-old husband believes COVID is no worse than flu, often refuses to wear a mask and visits large groups regularly.
“We just had a fight the other night where I said, ‘This is it, we’re going to divorce. I have to stay safe and you refuse to make me feel safe or feel safe in my own home,'” he said. Rust said. said. “I pleaded. I cried. I begged. I screamed. And he refuses to listen to anything I say.”
Rust’s husband did not want to be questioned for this story.
The coronavirus took a devastating toll, killing more than 425,000 Americans, and infections continued to rise despite the introduction of vaccines late in 2020. Men do not take COVID as seriously as women and, according to the centers, are less likely to take safety measures. to follow. for disease control and prevention.
For older couples with underlying conditions, such as the Rusts, this marital conflict has consequences of life or death. For younger couples with children, these clashes pose health hazards, as well as creating extra work for mothers who feel they have to bear the burden of keeping their families safe.
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Jessica Calarco, a professor of sociology at Indiana University, interviewed Indiana mothers as part of a pandemic parenting study and found that nearly 40% of respondents show an increase in frustrations with pandemics with their partners. These frustrations were twice as common among mothers with partners who were less supportive of the measures they took to reduce COVID-19 risks.
‘In some cases, women are relieved by their partner, and these are women who read science and listen to the experts, take in this information, make informed decisions for the health of their family, and then the decisions are undermined by partners who refuse to wearing masks or telling women that they are crazy, or that they are driven by emotion and fearful about the pandemic, ‘she said.
Experts say that although COVID’s political divisions dominated the headlines, the gender distribution of the pandemic is just as significant, with consequences for public health – CDC data show that more men die from COVID than the virus continues to spread – as well as for relationships .
Since the country is waging war against the deadly virus, many women are fighting their own private battles at home.
COVID conflict exacerbated by politics, gender
Republicans and Democrats often disagree on the steps needed to reduce the spread of COVID-19. This has caused tension in many heterosexual relationships, as women on average tend to be liberal and more men identify themselves as Republicans.
Experts believe that this tension is exacerbated by the pressure some men experience to demonstrate their masculinity, which may include showing strength, reducing fear, and taking risks. CDC data show that men are less likely to wear seat belts or get flu shots.
Rust identifies as a Democrat and her husband as a Republican. She says her husband, who rides motorcycles, has always been a risk taker. But now she fears as far as COVID is concerned, he thinks he is ‘invincible’.
Many Republican leaders also explicitly labeled masculine behavior as unmanly, leading some men to avoid the behavior, which proves that it limits transmission, for fear of appearing feminine or weak.
A New York University study in October found that women wear about 15% more masks than men.
Socially, men are also often put under pressure to be the main providers of their family. Psychiatrist Lea Lis noted that men who continue to work, for example, may feel, “COVID risk is acceptable because I have to take care of the family financially at all costs.”
As anxiety gender coded
In this era of unprecedented uncertainty, anxiety is common. But the way we view anxiety often depends on who expresses it, says Juliet Williams, a professor of gender studies at UCLA. When men are anxious about something, they are called ‘protective’. When women are anxious about something, they are called ‘scared’.
Women who are dismissed by COVID through their partner find that it is not safe to express legitimate concerns at home.
Rust, who has chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, said she was most hurt by what she considered her husband’s indifference.
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“If I tell him to put on his mask, I’ll get the death stars and he’ll throw a tantrum by being rude for the rest of the day,” she said. “We’ve been together since 1986. The part that hurts me the most is the lack of respect or concern for me.”
According to CDC, older men made the least behavioral changes in response to COVID-19.
Rachel Sussman, a licensed psychotherapist, said she has advised many couples who experienced COVID, including those who do not see the threat face-to-face.
‘In this episode, someone in the family, usually the wife, is very concerned about COVID, very concerned about the catch, very concerned about the children catching it, and the man was less so, and this caused terrible rifts between the couples. ‘where one person is called in control, and the other person is called irresponsible and even dangerous,’ she said.
Sussman said she has seen this conflict, even in relationships where partners have political beliefs, because the mothers’ concerns about the children’s health ultimately outweigh the political party.
“As far as caring for her children is concerned, she’s becoming a mommy bear,” she said.
Women take on extra work
According to the U.S. Department of Labor, women are often the most important health care decision makers for their families, and according to Calarco’s study, mothers are usually the ones carrying the additional health burden associated with COVID.
Calarco said women either had to do a tremendous amount of work to convince their partner to take COVID seriously, or that they had to take the extra work to keep their families safe, including teaching children to properly shake their hands. wash and wear masks.
Sometimes, however, Calarco said that the repeated dismissals of a partner would lead to women reconsidering their view.
[Some] mothers eventually doubted themselves and really questioned their own beliefs about the severity of the virus as a way to avoid conflict, “Calarco said. For some of these moms, it was just easier to say, ‘Well, maybe it’s not as serious as I thought. ”
Even in a health crisis, compromises are more productive than conflict
Psychologists say if you and your partner do not see COVID eye-to-eye, compromise is key.
“You could say, ‘How can there be a compromise, or how can we meet a disease in the middle that can kill people?’ But still there must be, ‘said Sussman.
Lis says it is important to avoid statements of ‘you’, such as: ‘You do not take COVID seriously’ or ‘You want to endanger our health.’ Your “statements” almost always lead to conflict, she said. Instead, try to make a list of things that are important to both of you as a starting point for discussion.
“Where you can bend, then bend. Where you can not, create hard boundaries and then say a firm no,” she said.
Some couples will never agree on COVID, which is why Sussman says rather than trying to make your partner believe what you believe, it can be more productive to change behavior.
“Focus on one change, one change at a time,” she said. “Even a small change can ease the tension and create a little more security for the family.”
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