Will CM Punk return to WWE during the Royal Rumble?

Will CM Punk return to WWE during the Royal Rumble?

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Regards, comrades! This is me, you El Presidente, and I have shocking news for you today. It looks like the special edition of WWE Backstage tonight features a contest to decide who is the 30th contestant in the Royal Rumble contest for women. The contestants: Natalya and Tamina, literally the 1st and 2nd woman to have the least chance of winning the contest. But more interesting than that, is literally everything else, but specifically, the question of whether CM Punk will make a surprising comeback tomorrow during the Royal Rumble contest for men.

CM Punk, Master of Social Media [Screencap from WWE Broadcast]
CM Punk, Master of Social Media [Screencap from WWE Broadcast]

Fox announced the return of WWE Backstage last week, with Paige and even Renee Paquette returning to host the show with stalwart WWE sketcher Booker T. ‘Oh, honey, it’s happening!’ said Paquette in a video posted on social media announcing the return of the show. “I’m so terribly excited about this because it’s happening!” Paquette said on the video. “You can indulge in an episode of WWE Backstage on Fs1 on January 30th at 8pm Eastern Time. The gang is reuniting. We’re going to talk all things WWE. It’s going to air, as I just said. the one before the Royal Rumble, my personal favorite PPV of all time, so I can not wait. ‘

Natalya and Tamina will battle it out against WWE Backstage in a match that no one cares about a result that will not matter, comrades!
Natalya and Tamina will battle it out against WWE Backstage in a match that no one cares about a result that will not matter, comrades!

No word on whether or not CM Punk of the WWE Backstage Analyst will appear, although he did announce on January 21, the same day that Backstage’s return was announced, that he was quarantined, and not because he was exposed to COVID. “I do not have Covid,” he said. said. “I quarantine as a mandatory safety guideline for a job.” A ten-day quarantine program, as recommended by most health officials, which began on January 21, would not be done in time to film an episode of WWE Backstage today. But it will only be tomorrow, the day of the Royal Rumble, just in time for Punk to make a surprising return during the men’s match. Is it just coincidence?

Comrades, there are no coincidences in pro-wrestling, just as there are no coincidences in running an authoritarian dictatorship. Take it from El Presidente: I’m an expert on both issues. Normally I would refuse to wait until Sunday to find out if CM Punk is returning to WWE. In an ideal world, I would have my secret police drag him out of his house in the middle of the night, bring him to a secluded place, and torture him until he reveals all his secrets. But alas, not even the secret police of El Presidente would do something as disrespectful as break quarantine, comrades. So we’ll just have to wait and see what happens. Haw haw haw haw!

Until next time: socialism or death!

About El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente falsified his own death in 2013 to pursue his two true passions: the American election for Joe Biden and the struggle of reporting on dirt. As the election to Joe Biden was not until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on reporting on wrestling, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the US CIA is sabotaging its 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of its country’s wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp and Satin have taken all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the US market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of big wrestling news and socialism, comrades!

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