They love each other, but Covid tore them apart

Paris (CNN) – When Riëtte Badenhorst returned home from her cancer operation in South Africa, her husband, Steve Mann, could only comfort her over the phone. Riette wishes he was with her.

“Friends and family help, but it’s not the same,” she tells CNN. “Video calls help, but they are not the same …. We want to hold on to each other when one is sad and feels overwhelmed.”

Badenhorst and Mann started dating in 2016 and became engaged three years later. They had not seen each other for more than a year, not even after being diagnosed with cancer in Badenhorst.

They are one of the many unmarried couples of different nationalities who, separated by travel bans on the coronavirus, are going to spend this Valentine’s Day without their loved ones.

It started in March when growing concern about the virus prompted the United States to impose restrictions on most travelers from the European Schengen area and Brazil.

Many other countries have imposed their own travel bans. Most allowed exemptions, but only for spouses – leaving unmarried partners and their families in the lurch.

Unconventional families are divorced

Recca Morcada, leaving with Elisabeth Ann Cohen and Cohen’s son Lane.

Thanks to Elisabeth Ann Cohen

Since 2016, Elisabeth Ann Cohen travels four times a year from Oklahoma to the Philippines to visit her fiancé Recca Morcada. Her son Lane – one of five children she had with her ex-husband Ed – even came with her twice.

“We consider it a family for us. It may be unconventional, but it’s our family, and it worked for four and a half years,” Cohen told CNN.

While both the Philippines and the United States have imposed strict travel restrictions, Cohen and Morcada have not seen each other in more than a year.

“I can’t wait for you to come home to your Oklahoma family,” Cohen wrote to her partner on Facebook. “We need you with us and miss you.”

‘Archaic rule’

Offain could not see her Sri Lankan partner Januk De Silva in almost eight months.

Thanks to Offely Epain

More than half of American millennials are unmarried, and those who marry do so later in life, according to a survey by the Pew Research Center. Similar trends are seen in Europe.

“It’s not 1850 anymore,” says Offely Epain, a French London citizen who has not been able to see her Sri Lankan partner in almost eight months. “We need to go beyond this archaic rule that couples only recognize when they are married.”

She says the rules that separate rules for unmarried couples are “outdated, in a world of globalization that until now has allowed us to move freely, meet anyone and fall in love with people who do not have the same nationality.”

“You can definitely have couples who are very committed, who have been together for years and who are not married; or couples who for whatever reason cannot live in the same country, it is simply a product of the world’s.” adds American Maggie Foster, who is in love with French doctoral student Alexandre Portier.

“Now it’s closed without thinking about the really drastic impact it’s had on some people’s lives,” she continues.

Road to recognition

“The group exploded quickly,” she says. The members joined forces with other groups such as Love Not Tourism and campaigned for elected representatives to drop rules for unmarried couples – so-called love releases.

In July, Denmark was the first country to grant darling exemptions. Other countries followed, including Austria, the Netherlands, Germany and France, when the European Commission encouraged all countries to allow unmarried couples.

“I’m very proud of what we did,” Foster said. “It became this organic grassroots movement. We forced governments to pay attention to us. European governments were much more responsive than the US.”

Different procedures

Béatrice Vayleux and Jackson Williams received a lovely release by France.

CNN

While Denmark only asks for a signed declaration, France needs comprehensive documents, including a history of the relationship, photos of the couple, passport stamps of travel together, all of which prove that it is a romantic relationship with a French citizen for at least six months before the borders close “according to his Foreign Ministry.

France has released 2,570 releases for sweets, according to official figures. Among the happy couples were French pharmacist Béatrice Vayleux and American opera singer Jackson Williams.

“We made a 31-page file with everything we could find, a signed letter, photos of us, passport stamps, everything,” says Vayleux. “It was a lot of work, but it was worth it.”

Some of the documents that Jackson Williams and Béatrice Vayleux need to prove their relationship.

CNN

“I’m so grateful we had the chance to see each other in the pandemic – for us I feel it was very easy compared to other couples,” Vayleux said after reuniting on January 30 in Williams, Paris.

Keep up with the news

Jasmine Jasper, right, is on her way to New York to reunite with partner Anthony Pototski.

Thanks to Jasmin Jasper and Anthony Pototski

Coronavirus travel restrictions change weekly. After opening their borders last summer when the first wave of infections faded, European countries began to close them again.

On February 4, France said it would stop offering exemptions to unmarried couples to prevent the spread of new varieties.

The French Foreign Ministry told CNN it would only resume the procedure “depending on the health situation.” The Netherlands has also stopped allowing long-distance couples into the country.

“I mostly try not to look at what is on social media about travel rules, because if it’s bad, it will make me feel worse,” says Italian-German dancer Jasmine Jasper.

“But at the same time, I want to be informed 24/7.”

Jasper spoke to CNN about a hotel in Serbia where she spent two weeks before reuniting with her boyfriend Anthony Pototski in New York.

“We just want to be with our loved ones, create our lives and build our families.” says Jasmine Jasper, reg.

Thanks to Jasmin Jasper and Anthony Pototski

Serbia is currently not on the US travel ban list, which means Jasper should be able to travel to the United States after more than 14 days in Belgrade, unless the rule changes.

Requirements are constantly changing for all travelers, and countries are adopting new policies, such as self-financed hotel quarantines or tests before departure and after arrival. As the journey becomes more complicated, Jasper hopes it will pave the way for countries to reopen borders safely.

“We are committed to being quarantined, to being tested and to keeping everyone safe,” she says. “We do not want to get sick; we do not want others to get sick. We just want to be with our loved ones, create our lives and build our families.”

Look ahead

Javier from Spain and his Kazakh fiancé Nazym have been enchanted since late 2019.

Thanks to Javier D

In December 2019, when Javier returned to Spain after a holiday with Kazakh Nazym, he just introduced her.

“We returned to our countries very happy and dreamed of a life together,” said Javier, who for personal reasons did not want to give up his surname, CNN reports.

But, he says, the ‘life project’ has been paralyzed for more than a year with the uncertainty of not knowing how long it will last, and the pain of being far away in this difficult time.

“The dream of being able to share our lives, start our family and share a future together keeps us strong and full of energy to fight day after day.”

With the strengthening of border restrictions, some long-distance couples are once again rethinking life plans in their quest for more security.

Some concede to the event and even make wedding plans.

“A lot of couples are considering getting married now, which is ironic,” says Maggie Foster, who has been in touch with many couples through her Facebook group.

Anna Liebermann from New York was lucky enough to get a sweetheart release to visit her partner Clément Roux in France in December. Yet both tell CNN that the pandemic caused them to review their priorities.

Although Roux is very fond of his work in Paris, the pandemic made him realize that he had to “shake up” to try to live closer to Liebermann.

Liebermann adds: “Both of us have been very thoughtful about what our next step to the pandemic is, so we do not have to go through this again.”

.Source