In the memoir of Priyanka Chopra Jonas Unfinished, the actor stops at various occasions to try to explain customs, terms and cases peculiar to India. At one point she mentions her stay in the United States maasi, she writes, ‘In India it’s just a part of who we are to look after each other’s children as if they belong to us. It is seen as a duty and a responsibility, not an imposition. ‘This approach of redundancy statement bordering on diminishing continues until it comes to light: her story is for everyone but intended for a global mainstream audience.
This consciousness regulates the narrative diet leading to a painfully simplistic memoir of an extraordinary life, an easy underpinning of the myth-making of Priyanka Chopra. As I read it, I kept thinking back to the different genre that Netflix had created and promoted with admirable consistency: documentary-cum-reality shows. Like the memories, these performances have an Indian cast and obliterated complexity of a country or individuals that can fit into an existing form. The latest addition to Netflix’s schedule is The Big Day.
In the last year alone, the streaming giant – accessible in 190 countries – has made room for regressive Indian Matchmaking and unsatisfactory Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives. Both performances, unless they share their optimism about India’s GDP, are linked by treating the country and its people without nuances and inconsistencies. And while the closet in Fantastic lives… destroys this critique to some extent, the lack of it Indian Matchmaking reduce it to a deceptive attempt. Each measure of this is repeated in The Big Day where the own concept of regular marriages takes the form of the big fat Indian wedding.
Much like its predecessor, The Big Day is linked to the representation of a practice, the prospect of which in a country like India is by definition diverse, unpleasant, offensive, offensive and shameful. In the show (produced by Condé Nast India) the preparations of an impending wedding are documented by following the engaged couple days before the ‘big day’. It is spread over three episodes – believed to be the franchise’s first group – and features six weddings discussed through opulence and blinding nearsightedness. These are elaborate events consisting of cameos of Bollywood choreographers and actors, and which offer skewed, limited portraits of Indian weddings, without naming or discussing the primary opponents: closet and class.
But that does not mean that they are holding back tokenism. There is, for example, an interfaith marriage in the third episode (Gayatri Singh, daughter of journalist Seema Mustafa and Aditya Wadhwani, poker commentator), but the fact that this inequality is and can become financially related is nowhere broken; ambiguous rule: “She fits into our family”.
The central idea of The Big Day rests on the rise of modern Indian couples who do not hesitate to control their marriage. And in abundant cases, the various non-resident Indians as well as those settled out of the country try to undo the overt patriarchal connotations in the marriage vows and rituals by doing things their own way. More than one couple leaves kanyadan, who want to make their weddings personal and equal. But this is completely undone by the inclusion of wedding planners, and by orchestrating and corporating their marriage. The personal is professional. Similarly, for all the talk and awareness about sustainability, the couples fly in their guests from different parts of the world.
But the biggest disadvantage of the program is the way it degrades women who choose to do things their own way, unites it in a separate episode, and is dubbed a “type of a bride” as a slanderer. Their involvement is seen as control, and their opinion is seen as assertion. It inadvertently illustrates the lost struggle in which women find themselves, by having to participate in an institution that they find uncomfortable. The passage of time and privilege may have enabled them to cease to be a dumb spectator at their weddings, but it also determined the sudden participation as the only proof of presence. All the brides in the show are constantly juggling wedding preparations while the men – who do not need work – sit on the sidelines.
One of the grooms declares with a loud numbness that he is a guest at his own wedding. “I did not contribute to the design and decor at all.” The only time this labor is not emphasized is the marriage of two men (Tyrone Braganza and Daniel Bauer) of the same sex, who also deviate from any conversation about their privilege that favors such a ‘celebration’ in the country.
The Big Day then – much like Indian Matchmaking – use India as a backdrop and point the camera at places they want to view and look at. It is conducted in stereotypes without caring enough to investigate the differences. And by doing so, it maintains the idea that marriage is a good equalizer, when in fact it is a breeding ground for prejudice.
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