Note: this feature contains some spoilers for a very old game and a remake of that very old game.
Any fans of Final Fantasy would like to stop reading at this point. That’s right, the first sentence. Access Time: I never played the biggest adventure of Cloud Strife on the original PlayStation, nor any other Final Fantasy title. The closest I came was to see my cousin play Final Fantasy IX; I remember being so fascinated, but I would be lying if I said I understand what is happening on screen. In essence, I have no love for the franchise. It’s not that I think the games are bad, but I never struggled with them. However, something has changed recently: Final Fantasy VII Remake has been made available to PS Plus members.
At first I thought I would ignore it, but how could I take the opportunity to play it for free? This is a remake of a game that (more or less) popularized JRPGs in the west on its own. This is a game that is often recognized as an All Timer, one of the great, a masterpiece. The demand for a remake has been going strong since 2005, and how could you not experiencing the excitement when it was finally announced at E3 10 years later? People love this game a lot about a muscular man with a dull name, and now I can play the remake for free. I think I should, I think.
Before I got started, though, I thought it would be nice to get my Push Square co-workers involved. They know full well that I’m not a big fan of JRPGs, and I wondered how far through the game they thought before I would call it a day. Robert Ramsey had the utmost confidence in me and bet I would go through it to the end. Sammy Barker was less sure and put his money on me to fall out the second time you walk through the sewer. Liam Croft was the least optimistic, claiming I would not start the game at all. Well complained, accepted challenge.
Spoiler: I started the game. Without nostalgia for the original, and no point of reference at all, I began my search for curiosity. All I knew to go into, by recording pieces of information over the years, was that you’re playing as a guy named Cloud and that someone named Aerith is killed halfway. I saw the clip. Completely cream cracked by a nasty blow with a sword. Just completely ground.
Anyway, the first impressions were very good. The cattle of the opening are fantastic; it has this incredibly large scale, which zooms out to the right to show you the ominous scale of Midgar. The film quality is there, and it really gripped me at first. It introduces you to the Avalanche team, with Barrett, Biggs, Wedge, Jessie, and of course Cloud Strife. I’m afraid to say that Cloud’s somersault from the train to the platform did not make me so cool. This is not a nice guy. Like, who does that? It immediately caught in my mind that this man was a bit. Yet I could not just write it off about it.
Unfortunately for Final Fantasy VII Remake, the characters open their mouths and talk. Sorry, any fans still read despite my first warning, but I really like the dialogue. Of course, some of them are quite good, but I was amazed at how predictable the characters are – they immediately fall into classic archetypes. I found it impossible to get attached to Biggs and Wedge, who felt disposable from the start, but personally I could not get on board with the characterization and dialogue in general. I understand that Remake is only part of a larger project, but everyone feels very one-dimensional to me. I also understand that this is a retelling of a game from 1997, so of course there is going to be an awkward or ominous dialogue. Even with that in mind, I struggled most of my time with the game and the characters.
One aspect I did enjoy was the fight. To begin with, I found it too complicated. It presents itself as a hack-n-slash action game, but it’s not really; basic attacks are just a way to upload your real moves obtained in the ATB menu. It’s a strange hybrid of real-time action and choosing commands, but once I turn my head about it – as well as swapping characters regularly – I find it very satisfying. Boss fights in particular have become a highlight for me by figuring out their weaknesses and exploiting them as best I can. I also loved the whole battle of battles, with great animations and effects while casting spells and cutting away with big swords.
I think a highlight for me was actually the insane mission with the cyclist. I had to look up his name, and that’s Roche. Cloud and the gang ride motorcycles to get to Jessie’s old home and do Avalanche business, but this guy swings and turns his bike around like it’s a pliers on a rope, and it’s just so ridiculous. Fighting him while driving was one thing, but he shows up again, and it’s a sight to behold. I think I enjoyed the game the most at this point, if it’s not afraid to accept the absurd. Another example is the point where you are literally fighting a demonic house. I’ve never seen it before.
Unfortunately, things started to get thin for me when I joined the Don Corneo department. The gameplay is extremely inconsistent in its pace and even just in the visual quality, and I found that to be quite shocking. I almost stop in the section where you have to use the robot arms to move cargo containers – so awkward and, more importantly, completely unnecessary. The game is much longer than it should be due to sections like this, and really, I think that’s what stopped me from beating the game.
That’s right – not only was Liam wrong about me starting, but Robert was wrong about me finishing. Sammy eventually won the bet, but I did not make it to the second sewer section (one was plentiful). Where do I call it? The haunted train garden. To be clear, it wasn’t so much this particular part of the game that made me put down the controller, it was just where I left it. I think I reached a point where I got tired of the whole thing.
Little things started to rustle – to keep Triangle from pulling levers (but not all the time!), The forced walking sections, the dialogue, some seriously bizarre cuts and more. In addition, things that were clearly meant to lift fans for years have been completely lost. Cases like Sephiroth that appear sporadically, for example, have lost their impact because I did not (and still do not) fully understand why this is a major issue. I appreciate that people like the original and the remake, but for me, I just got tired of the nonsense of the game. I will boot up my PS5 and think about what I should play. Final Fantasy VII Remake will come up to me and I sigh. I could not sustain it – especially when I know there are still so many hours to go.
I accepted that it was not for me, and that’s fine. I can live with that. I’m glad I tried it thoroughly, but I think it will probably be between me and Final Fantasy. Funny enough, Liam hadn’t played the original before playing Remake, and he loved it, so don’t let me put you off if you’re in the same boat. I’m not sure what the moral of the story is, to be honest. I mean trust your instinct, but if at the same time you get the opportunity to try new things, you have to do it. Do the messages conflict with each other? Kind of. I now stop the function.
Do you empathize with Stephen’s review of Final Fantasy VII Remake? Have you struggled in the same way with a beloved game? Sprinkle a little Phoenix Down in the comments below.