SFDPH’s updated safe sex guidelines during the pandemic are probably something

The San Francisco Department of Public Health (SFDPH) would like to remind you that ‘breathing, wheezing, crying and groaning’ are all there is to it to get coronavirus into your body. And that spitting game is probably not a good idea right now.

The pandemic certainly pulled the e-brake on random app-facilitated connections and deplorable one-night stands after someone was brought home from a diving bar – which may look quite different when placed in a well-lit space. (But instead of frivolous personal encounters, ‘fan content’ – that is, the NSFW posts on such sites as OnlyFans and Patreon – is enjoying a surge in popularity amid COVID-19.) for Safer Sex During the COVID-19 Pandemic ‘, recently updated on February 9, is used for some guidance.

And, non-binary moniker, the suggestions are … something.

First, the city health department fully acknowledges that ingestion of respiratory particles and mucus is the most important way the new pathogen enters your body. According to the agency, ‘hot and heavy breathing’ is usually rejected during the execution of the act; the document indicates that opening a window or a well-ventilated area (outside?) may cause a more COVID-19 experience; SFDPH wants you to know that fellatio – as well as finger licking and sucking – still contain activities that have the potential to consume body fluids that may or may not contain coronavirus bodies.

What may be my favorite tongue-in-cheek tips can be found in the “Faster Could Be Better” and “Maybe You Want to Watch” subsections.

The former segment strongly encourages you to keep any sexual intercourse with a new partner as short as possible; it would be a wise choice to ping the Lyft option “save and wait” as soon as you send a companion here. As for the latter section, it subtly suggests that it is safer to see, for example, how your partner enjoys a spacious apartment than to mess up a neat duvet cover.

Oh, and then there’s this aspiring gem of the copy of public safety: “Embrace dirty thoughts. And clean surfaces.”

Whether you are celibate these days or occasionally visit Rock Hard to pick up new toys for a sex-positive buddy, keep an eye on your activities and take the appropriate safety precautions of the COVID-19 for the situation. But no doubt the tours are slowed down until the herd immunity is reached – which should inoculate about 50 to 80% of the population in full.

To read SFDPH’s “Tip Sheet for Safer Sex During the COVID-19 Pandemic” in all its glory, click here.

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Californians with underlying health risks could start getting vaccinated on March 15 – at the discretion of doctors

Image: screenshot via SFDPH