Welcome, compatriots, to the first elimination of the season. Eventually! The first three weeks of season 13 were a beautiful series RuPaul’s best friend race, but it brings me a lot of pleasure to report that we are finally seeing a contestant cry this week. Do not get me wrong: First I look Drag Race for the enormous and diverse talents of all the participants, of course. In fact, this is exactly why I was excited for this episode, which celebrates the two most common drag queen talents of all: conflict and emotional manipulation!
And the queens really come on it. Group one (the self-ordered “Winner’s Circle”) decides to hold a sting operation to embarrass group two (‘the B group’) by hiding Elliott behind a curtain in the back of the study. The idea here is that they can trick the queens into being shit-talking Elliott while she’s in the room. This plan does not make sense to me for two reasons: the first is that you usually do not have to “deceive” queens to be bad for you. And the second is that I do not understand what Elliott is getting out of this. She already has confirmation that the other queens do not like her because they sent her home unanimously. By now hiding behind the curtain, she therefore gets the privilege of … hearing them say it again? A half-baked plan, to be sure, but Elliott seems to have perverted joy in revealing to a crowd of crestfallen entertainers that, yes, she’s still here.
After the queens magnify each other, RuPaul enters and starts immediately. For this week’s biggest challenge, the queens are divided into teams and they have to play the role in RuPaulmark Channel holiday films, films with almost identical text and characters that satire the formula of the Hallmark Christmas. It’s a clever setup that really compares the playing field. Denali, for example, can not claim that she got the short end of the stick because Tina and Symone had exactly the same lines and did well. It also benefits the audience, as we can directly compare the comedy skills of the composite cast for the first time.
Now, as with anyone Drag Race acting challenge, we have the good (Symone, Rosé), the bad (Denali, LaLa) and the transcendent (Kahmora). Let’s discuss:
“God loves flags”
Let’s save the best for the first time. Symone and Rosé carry their team to a definitive victory with their flag day parody “God Loves Flags.” Symone interprets the evil Red Flag; she keeps the judges giggling from start to finish with her now-iconic facial expressions and inexplicable pronunciation of the work ‘factory’. Rosé plays her … Best friend? Do you like interest? Who cares. The only thing that matters is that she has shoes stuck to her knees, a real inspired choice. Their presence captivates the much weaker LaLa Ri and Utica, who are both more than a little shaky and apparently unable to translate their winning personalities to this challenge. Or memorize their rules for the case! The judges praise Rosé and Symone, but Symone’s star-thumb-train runway steals the show. The judges are gagged, just like all of us, and RuPaul tells Symone ‘You’re a winner, baby’ for the third time in four episodes. Symone’s momentum is unmistakable at this point. She somehow patched the other girls before the referee even had a chance to start his stopwatch. Of course, it’s still early, and you can still remember a young, beautiful LA queen with an unpredictable early season earlier than winner of the season (kept quiet by me …). But in my opinion the comparison ends there. There was a crunch to Gigi Goode that I did not feel in Symone at all. Maybe it’s her ingrained sense of purpose and maturity, or maybe it’s just good old-fashioned Middle Eastern manners, but Symone feels grounded to me. And I think it will serve her well if we enter the marathon phase of this competition.
“April Fool’s Rush In”
Next, in a solid second place, is Team “April Fool’s Rush In” starring Gottmik, Joey Jay, Kandy Muse and Tamisha Iman. In theory, Gottmik and Tina are the stars, but Kandy steals the show as Whoopi Cushion, a clown employee from the small town gift shop. Kandy wants this part so much that she claims it before the other girls even get a chance to open their text. It’s definitely unpleasant, but it’s hard to stay angry with someone as entertaining as Kandy. As Gottmik strictly sums up: “Well … props for you. It was kind of everything, but not sure this is how it works. Yes, Kandy may be a difficult pill to swallow, but the high you get is worth it. Tamisha also has some notable moments as a fortune teller / Cher impersonator. She responds well to Ross’ direction (unlike Joey Jay), and the results in the final product speak for themselves. Tamisha is safe, and Kandy might have been a leading candidate if it had not been for her runway. Do not get me wrong, the garment is beautiful, but Michelle is right that it is not rather the category and there is actually no story to speak of when compared to other girls. But the judges like Kandy, and that’s a good setback to her last challenge for a low position.
“Misery Loves Company”
Let’s finally talk about the team that has the most to lose, ‘Misery Loves Company’. Denali wants to show that she can stand out among titans like Symone, Elliott wants to prove that she’s not the worst one here, Kahmora has to make up for the last episode’s disaster, and Olivia … is just icy! Denali chatted a big game this week. And last week. And the week before that. She tells us repeatedly that she is the fiercest competitor, the best at beating, and (the most relevant) more than just a fierce lip-sincer. Unfortunately, Denali collapses from her own expectations. Before the other girls can answer a word, she insists on biting off the biggest role, which she later realizes is a little more than she can chew. This allows Elliott to play the dark cupido (‘I’m actually stupid,’ she explains), Kahmora as a tree (in a moment more about that), and Olivia accepts the grandmother in a good way (she’s just stay there). In the exercise, we watch Denali strike. The lines do not come and there is no characterization to speak of. On the runway, she’s a knockout blow, but that’s apparently not enough to make up for her serious miscalculation. But Denali’s struggle is really nothing when compared to her sister Kahmora. For context, Kahmora plays a tree with a green screen. Why might a keen observer ask: does Kahmora show up to put on his hip / butt pillows and a breastplate with upright nipples? I can not answer this because my mind does not work on the same level of consciousness as she. Kahmora apparently has two lines altogether, takes 80 percent of everyone’s time and attention on the set (MANY me) and ultimately fails to deliver one of the two lines correctly. Needless to say, I’m crazy. Like Denali, her impeccable runway does not save her, and it’s Chicago against Chicago in the bottom two.
The lip sync is a bloodbath. Denali has proven one thing for sure: she is indeed the lip-sync assassin of the season. She brings athleticism and precision at the Olympic level to her incredible achievement of ‘100% pure love’, and it’s over in seconds. ‘Stop!’ I wanted to scream. “She’s already dead!” But Denali is ruthless. She shows so little mercy to her sister in Chicago, I’m pretty sure it’s a violation of at least two Geneva conventions. Denali is declared the victor, and the beautiful Kahmora is the first official victim of the pork chop. Elliott cheers.
Despite the best efforts of the B group, the hierarchy set in the episode of one’s lip-sync extravaganza was strengthened this week. Symone once again cried king, and both members of the bottom two come from the lip-sync losing team. But Drag Race is known for its mid-season upheavals, and I would not put it past these queens to steal the spotlight next week. Let’s find out, shall we? Until then!