New ‘N’ Tasty owes me my first 100% completion

I started playing Oddworld: New ‘N Tasty and oh god, I’ll have to save all 299 these Mudokons, shall I?

In 2014’s Oddworld: New ‘n’ Tasty, you play as the Mudokon Abe, an overworked, underpaid alien worker for a business that destroys the ecosystem and extinct alien creatures, hence your typical Amazon employee. New ‘n’ Tasty follows Abe as he escapes from RuptureFarms, an evil meat processing plant whose board has decided to turn its Mudokon staff into its latest product. There are 299 Mudokon slaves you can choose to rescue from the clutches of Evil Alien Jeff Bezos, but you only need to save about half of them to get the good end of the game. I do not complete 100% games, even if I sometimes want to, because I think it’s a waste of time, but 150 I can do.

For most of the game, you navigate with gruesome platforming puzzles, such as dodging falling pieces of meat or sneaking through armed trigger-happy guards. You save your employees by calling them with a number of instructions. To get their attention, you can have Abe say ‘Hello’. To follow them to the place where freedom is closest, you simply say, “Follow me.”

The reason I only need the minimum amount of Mudokons to get the good end is because Mudokons are dumb as bricks. Without careful guidance, they will walk carefree into the various traps and dangers that make RuptureFarms an OSHA nightmare. Do you forget to disarm a meat grinder before waving to your friends with the command “follow me”? Now, now there are pieces of Mudokon exploding across the screen that sound like an intricate audio cue to mark your failure. I do not need that kind of tension.

While I was researching, I came across a large sign that said, “If you leave, everyone will die.” It’s a big, heartbreaking sign with a bunch of sad, dead Mudokons silently asking, “You will not leave us here to die, right, Abe?”

Yes I will. After all, air hostesses tell you before you take off: ‘You have to tie your mask before you help others.’ Abe has to save himself first, right?

Oddworld it’s fun because it keeps track of how many Mudokons there are and how much you’ve saved via large billboards sporadically placed throughout the game. Before I escaped from RuptureFarms, I checked my progress on the billboard. I was rescued on 20 Mudokons, no casualties and 279 Mudokons remained. The game is sneaky because it tells you how many total Mudkons there are (299), but never how many in just your level. When I got to the next level, I was unprepared for the horror that told me I had surrendered 50 Mudokons to their downfall. I knew about the secrets – the well-hidden trapdoors and portals that reveal hidden areas where there are more workers to free. But I did not try to do this game 100%, I had an idea that people would die, I just did not expect more than 2/3 of the Mudokons in that level in hidden areas.

I felt really bad, in a way I did not expect. Those 50 on the spot “casualties” on the billboard were not a condemnation of my thoroughness as a player, but as a person. What type monster leaves 50 Mudokons knowingly to die for your misdade? If it was one or two, I might be able to go on my “minimum minimum” run. But 50? It was too much. Those lives were on my head, and I had to fix them. I am Jack Shepard and I must go back.

I thought it would be a simple matter to reload my last quicksave, except that quicksaves do not work between the levels. To go back, I have to start the game over. So did I. There is a point on the first level where you can sneak through a sleeping guard or kill him. I snuck past, but I had to choose violence: When I returned to that area after realizing that I had missed a secret, the way the guard was positioned prevented me from killing or sneaking again. Another recharge. I spent more than three hours in a place that normally only takes 40 minutes, before finally completing it with all 70 Mudokons rescued.

Since I did not plan to complete the match 100%, I thought I was willing to accept a victim. I do not need 299 Mudokons to get the good ending, but it is lives on the line. If Mario misses a hidden cat glare, no one shoots a cat. If I do not succeed in getting my co-worker separated in a hidden environment, he’s fucking die. The debt is devastating.

So this is my life now, I’m on my way to save 299 colleagues because I can not live with the knowledge of leaving them behind. I have to play with my laptop nearby, stand in a queue, because I’m paranoid and I’ll miss a secret area.

It is difficult to be saddled with this new responsibility. All the stress I tried to avoid was my constant companion. I’m bored when I fuck and a colleague dies, forcing me to reload a difficult puzzle. It’s worse because Abe knows their death is his fault, but he just shrugs his shoulders and offers a pitiful “oh no” in response. Why am I so cursed?