How To Decode Your Office Body Language While Working From Home

A sideways glance at a video chat. An email drifting away in ellipses. And why did your boss even add you to this calendar invitation anyway?

We were once fleeting in the non-verbal directions of the physical office. Shrugged shoulders or a sawed-off look was enough to know when the boss was disappointed or a colleague was stressed. A cryptic email often just needed to rotate our chairs 180 degrees to explain the sender.

Besides, we had time all day to figure it out, and we got some tips to refill our coffee cups or the minutes we had before meetings. Now our work interactions are viewed for up to 15 minutes in each other’s lives on Zoom calls, or a barrage of emails without extra context. Trying to read body language through a screen is another exhausting part of the workday.

“We feel like we’ve tied one hand behind our backs,” said Traci Brown, a body language speaker and author in Boulder, Colo.

There are still many ways to read non-verbal directions if you know where to look, says me. Brown. Start with people’s movements during video calls – a colleague crossing her arms may indicate that she’s shut down for an idea or information you’re not considering, she says. A fast or slow flash can mean the voltage. And pay attention to eyebrows. Eyebrows pointing to the center of your nose indicate anger; eyebrows in a neutral position, but curled up in the middle to sadness, says me. Brown.

The approach is not foolish. That colleague with the crossed arms could only feel cold. Consider body language as a hint that you need to investigate deeper to find out what is really going on with someone.

Many of our analyzes of others at work used to take place unconsciously as a result of years of evolution. Now we must ignore our assumptions that were previously useful, otherwise we remain confused and wrong.

“The gestures we’ve raised all our lives continue, but they do not have the same meaning as they did in the past,” said Jeremy Bailenson, founding director of Stanford University’s Virtual Human Interaction Lab and a professor in communication at school.

Take a stare. Looking more directly into someone’s eyes for more than one to two seconds is interpreted as intimacy or a precursor to conflict, says Dr. Bailenson, causing our fight-or-flight reaction. Now our eyes close all day on Zoom. And our on-screen photos are generally larger than the usual personal space in the office could offer. The perceived closeness can make us uncomfortable or convince us that we are considered higher by a meeting attendee than we actually are, he says.

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Tony Caleca, managing partner at St. Louis’s bookkeeping and consulting firm, Brown Smith Wallace, was used to his colleague Steve pushing his shoulders forward and slipping on his seat when he was ready to share during a personal meeting. But on video, the movement feels more dramatic.

“It was a little worrying at first,” he said. Caleca. “It felt like he was coming to you.” Mr. Caleca began to remind himself that the image only makes Steve speak.

Valeria Klamm, a manager of practice growth at the same firm, froze on video calls almost daily due to a poor internet connection. If the framework contains a prenatal forehead, colleagues may get the wrong message.

“We were worried she might be offended by something we said,” said Kelly Peery, a colleague who recently had a call where everyone laughed at a shared joke except for a quiet, angry woman. Klamm. It was just another freezing point.

“I just need a sign that says, ‘It’s not you, it’s me,'” the 32-year-old says. Klamm. ‘I want, darn it, how long have I been frozen? I am here. I’m engaged. How long did it seem like I had not been engaged yet? ‘

Written communication can be just as loaded. People are caught up in everything, from the brevity of emails – nothing shivers like an answer that is just a single question mark – to the timing.

Erica Dhawan, author of the upcoming book “Digital Body Language” and CEO of Cotential, a consulting firm focused on collaboration in New York, suggests brainstorming clients to ask for clarity if they have a close relationship with the broadcaster, and only accept good intentions if they do not. Remember that punctuation marks such as ellipses are often used differently by generations – older workers may mean nothing to them, while younger workers read them as sarcastic. Some may like emojis while others are amazed by them.

Developing organizational norms can help. Me. Dhawan has an abbreviation of the medical insurance company that indicates how quickly the sender expects the recipient to respond. If you include ‘4H’ in a subject line, the note is required within four hours.

If something annoying – says a message that opens with a passive-aggressive “by my last email” – happens three times, it’s probably worth an honest conversation, says me. Dhawan. You can share examples of virtual interactions that are confusing or worrying. Or ask yourself if the problem can be solved quickly by switching.

“A phone call is worth a thousand emails,” she says.

Read the digital room

Avoid being hampered by digital body language, with tips from Stanford professor Jeremy Bailenson and author Erica Dhawan:

Add some space: Reduce the size of your Zoom window so that meeting attendees do not look awkwardly close.

Hide self-esteem: Looking at yourself throughout the meeting is not a good way to get others’ indications.

Note changes: If you usually want an informal boss to use a more formal language, there may be something going on.

Do not overreact: If someone sends you a confusing or slightly passive aggressive email, accept good intentions. If the communication does not affect your ability to perform work, it may be a good idea to just let it go. If something happens three times, it’s time for a candid chat.

Write to Rachel Feintzeig by [email protected]

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