Former World Wrestling Entertainment superstar Gabbi Tuft said she left home on Thursday for the first time with her “head up” after coming out as a transgender.
She cried when she remembered the moment. “I felt so happy,” she told NBC News. My hair was not in my face, and I did not tie my fists and hide my nails. It felt just so wonderful. ”
Tuft officially announced the news on social media on Thursday. In an Instagram photo, she sat next to an image of herself in front of her transition. “It’s me,” she wrote in the caption. ‘Shameless, shameless I am. This is the side of me that hid in the shadows, scared and frightened of what the world would think; afraid of what my family, friends and followers would say or do. ”
“I’m not scared anymore and I’m not scared anymore,” she wrote. “I can now say with confidence that I love myself for WHO I am.”
Tuft wrestled professionally from 2007 to 2014 and appeared in WWE shows ‘Superstars’, ‘Raw’, ‘SmackDown’ and ‘WrestleMania’. She retired from wrestling to spend more time with her wife, Priscilla, and their daughter. career as a fitness trainer and motivational speaker, according to a Press release announces that Tuft is coming out.
But behind all her career success, Tuft said, her mental health has suffered. “The last eight months have been some of the darkest of my entire life,” she wrote in her upcoming post.
“The pain was overwhelming,” she told NBC News, adding that she was struggling with suicidal thoughts. “I was the person who always preached, ‘No matter what people think, go be yourself,'” she said. “When it was my turn, it was so much harder than I had ever imagined. ‘
Eventually, with the support of her wife, she began to come out of the process. She started a “countdown” on Instagram ten days before her official announcement. Now she is inviting her followers on social media to ask questions and has promised to be ‘transparent’ about the whole process. With the help of her wife, she also started a podcast about her transition called ‘Her’.
Tuft said her process shows that the outcome is different for everyone.
“I never want anyone to think that the way I did it should be done by everyone,” she said. “I do not think there is a blueprint for this.”
She said she wants to be open about her transition to create awareness and understanding. Although many transgender people, for example, do not want others to use their previous name, also known as their ‘dead name’, after they have come out, Tuft said she is not offended about it. The Press release the announcement that she’s coming out includes her former name, Gabe, and her WWE stage name, Tyler Reks.
“The rest of the world is going on too, it’s not just me,” she said. “I can not expect an overnight change from everyone.”
Tuft admitted that while her Instagram announcement showed a photo of herself before her transition, it’s not something all trans people are comfortable with.
“There are a lot of people who feel differently about their past,” she said. “They may not be embracing the past because it hurt them so much. But I wanted the world to know that I loved who I was – but I still love who I am today. ‘
It is not her job to change people’s minds, but she hopes that people, by being transparent and sharing her story, will join her and that public acceptance of transgender people will grow.
“All I want to do is create empathy and maybe through empathy, we can gain some understanding, and we can reduce the amount of fear and then slowly make a change,” Tuft said. “I think the more I can tell it, the more we can create that empathy and build a relationship with people who watch so they know they are not alone.”
Since coming out, she said, she’s been amazed at the overwhelming support: Neighbors knocked on her door to drop off flowers, and she’s received thousands of messages and comments on social media. “It tells me that there is still so much love in this world,” she said.
She said she was also amazed at the degree of joy she was experiencing. “I never expected to have an ear-to-ear smile for the last 24 hours, but I can not get the smile off my face,” she said. “It comes from the heart, and it comes from the soul, and I never expected to feel excited.”
Follow NBC Out on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram