For some it is harder than expected to return to pre-COVID life

Shelby Bernstein can not wait for life to return to normal.

In theory.

But as COVID-19 restrictions rise across the country, Bernstein feels she is becoming increasingly anxious.

“Maybe it’s like the Stockholm syndrome, except that our captain is the coronavirus,” she said. “We are all so used to the mental and physical devastation it has inflicted on us that any sense of normalcy feels wrong.”

In the course of the pandemic, the 29-year-old product photographer restricted her trips to the market, a month without seeing her boyfriend, and only met friends at parks – mostly masked and six feet apart.

She returned to personal work at a jewelry business in Santa Monica in July, but spent most of the day alone in a bungalow. She even tried to limit her bathroom trips from being in enclosed spaces with other people.

Intellectually, Bernstein knows that her risk of getting COVID-19 in Los Angeles is significantly lower than in a year. Cases in the province have declined since they peaked in January, with more than 50% of the state’s adult population receiving at least one shot. Furthermore, a few weeks ago, Bernstein received her first dose of vaccine, which gave her significant protection against the disease.

She’s not a hypochondriac or a hermit. She misses parties and gets on a plane to see friends. But she is still not ready to ease the behavior that has kept her safe over the past year and given her peace of mind.

Medical experts say her concerns are valid. About 26% of Americans were fully vaccinated, and 40% received their first shot. It still leaves most Americans unprotected.

At the same time, they note that activities such as embracing or eating in a restaurant for people who have been fully vaccinated are safe, especially if vulnerable friends and family members are also vaccinated.

But while experts may say that vaccines provide excellent protection against the virus, some people can’t help but feel that it sounds too good to be true. And while cases and deaths in California are declining, it is increasing in other parts of the state.

As with just about everything in this pandemic – family gatherings, business closures, schools – Angelenos’ feelings about reopening the country feel the spectrum from excitement to alarm.

Some of us jumped at the chance to see movies in real theaters, have a drink at a bar with friends, cheer on the Dodgers, or attend a small dinner with fully immunized friends. . But for others – even fully vaccinated – the fear that any loosening of security protocols could lead to another upsurge can become difficult.

“Every time I see people eating out or hanging out with their friends unmasked, I cringe and feel hopeless,” Bernstein said. “I hate to feel that way, but unfortunately for me and many others, I think this threatening feeling of fear will be with us for a long time to come.”

A recent survey by the American Psychological Assn. found that 49% of Americans feel uncomfortable adjusting to interactions once the pandemic ends. 46% also said they do not feel comfortable returning to their pre-pandemic life.

In both cases, those who felt anxious would be vaccinated as well as not, said Vaile Wright, the association’s senior director of healthcare innovation.

“This suggests that the vaccine itself is not an anxiety reliever, or at least not an anxiety reliever,” said Wright, who worked on the study. “We’ve been in this routine for a year and it’s going to take a while to change that.”

Dr. Ella Shadmon, who is a GP in Pasadena, recently traveled to Arizona with her husband and two teenage daughters for spring break. It was the first time the family had been on a plane since the pandemic began.

As a medical professional, Shadmon received her first vaccine shot in January. Her husband and one of her daughters were also completely vaccinated.

The family donned N-95 masks for the short flight from Burbank to Phoenix and stayed with an Airbnb as soon as they arrived in Sedona. They ate at restaurants outdoors and checked that the staff had been fully masked first.

Because she was vaccinated, Shadmon does not feel the danger of getting COVID-19. Yet she wrestled the whole journey through a variety of feelings.

“It was strange. It was exciting. It was too busy. It was filled with mixed emotions, “she wrote in a Facebook post. “Reintry is not as easy as it seems.”

For Shadmon, this murky space where we are no longer in the middle of the pandemic, but also not completely out of it, was the most difficult phase to navigate.

When cases were high and there were scarce vaccines, it was easy to know what needed to be done to stay safe: stay home as much as possible. Wear masks. Maintain physical distance.

“Now we are in this middle ground,” she said. “And because every state, country and community is doing something completely different, it makes it 100 times worse.”

She is no longer worried that his or her vaccinated family members will become vectors for the disease, but what about others? Did all the people eating indoors at restaurants receive the vaccine? In both Arizona and California, the answer is probably no.

‘When will the feeling that the crowd is wrong disappear? “I’m not sure when I will get there in person,” she said. ‘I think we need full herd immunity. But if we reach at least 50% [vaccination] mark, I think I will feel very different. ”

Reports of new coronavirus variants and their potential to overcome vaccine protection have also added to people’s anxiety.

“There is such a lasting feeling of lack of safety and trust because information is constantly changing about the variants, the effectiveness of the vaccines and how long immunity lasts,” said Laurie Stone, a psychologist in West Los Angeles. “I do not trust much of it.”

Stone received her second vaccine dose in February, but that’s little consolation.

“I still have this chronic fear,” she said. “It is difficult to alleviate the fear.”

Dr. Marybeth Sexton, a specialist in infectious diseases at the Emory University School of Medicine, said it makes sense that even vaccinated people still feel anxious about reopening, especially if the majority of Americans are still unprotected.

For unvaccinated people, it’s critical that they continue to do the things we know they work for – wear a mask in public, keep away from people and avoid the things that can lead to super-distribution opportunities, such as eating indoors, drinking at pubs and large indoor gatherings, ”Sexton said.

But she said the rules do not have to apply to people who are vaccinated.

“If you are vaccinated, it is a very low risk to do so,” she said. “Two weeks after your second dose of Pfizer or Moderna, or your first dose of Johnson & Johnson, your risk of getting the virus is dramatically reduced and your risk of being hospitalized or dying is almost zero.”

Chunhuei Chi, director of the Center for Global Health at Oregon State University, has agreed that fully vaccinated people can eat safely and go to a movie, but no one should expect everything to go back to its pre-pandemic ways at the same time. not.

“The return to normal is not a quick leap, it is incremental,” he said.

Even in Taiwan, where there have been no new coronavirus cases for more than six weeks, the government still requires people to wear masks on public transportation, Chi said.

For those who experience extreme anxiety, Charmaine Jackman, a psychologist and wellness expert, recommends focusing on the present moment.

“If you’re spiraling, take note, pull back and do not judge yourself,” she said. “Concerns about the future can be intense. Be in the moment. Do not get too far ahead. ”

Another thing to consider: judging others because they take less precautions is detrimental to your mental health.

“We do not know why people make the choices they do. There could be a good reason, ‘she said. “It’s handy to think like that for your own care and peace of mind.”

Achieving that peace of mind can come by gradually re-entering society.

You might want to start with something relatively easy, like going to the grocery store with a mask on, said Wright of the Psychological Association. Then experiment with a small gathering in the backyard and later a meal in a restaurant outside.

“When we practice avoidance, we implicitly say to our brain, ‘It’s too narrow,’ or ‘I can not handle it,'” Wright said. What can turn the messages around is to face safe situations.

We all have different tolerances for uncertainty, she said. Some of us may only feel comfortable if we can be assured that we are 100% safe.

But it will always be evasive – whether we are in a pandemic.