Fallout games may be grim, but even the desert does not usually harm your children. Thanks for mods though, right? With a specific Fallout 3 mod, players with the cannibal fringe can devour a baby in The Pitt DLC, trying to do one of my favorite speedrunners in less than 20 minutes. Why on earth would he want to eat a baby fast? It’s healthier than you think.
Speedrunner Tomatoanus of 11 minutes Cyberpunk sex fame – and many other achievements – is the creator of this silly speedrun. He challenged himself to find a baby named Baby Marie in the Fallout 3 The Pitt DLC and pull a big bad wolf on her as quickly as possible. This would not normally be possible, but a mod called Acquired Immunity allows valuable residents with the cannibal limit to eat the baby instead of stealing it from her cradle. Both pretty shameful, honestly.
Here is the video in which Tomatoanus explains the different tricks he does, such as cutting through walls, jumping straight and stopping jumping. You may be able to learn something. I always do!
Tomatoanus is one of my favorite speedsters. He explains all the tricks in his runs. He has a voice that is easy to listen to. He tells jokes. In this particular video, he takes a whole oral detour from running himself to give a pep talk about speed running.
Since Tomatoanus invented the eat-and-baby speedrun, he made up six silly rules as to its requirements. However, it’s not really about the rules. “It’s highly unlikely that this run will ever get an official leaderboard on speedrun.com, and I have no interest in it ever being one,” Tomatoanus said. “Rankings are not necessary for you to do sprints. If you run, you think it would be fun or funny, then keep going.”
He emphasizes that anyone interested in fast running should do for them what sounds good to them, whether they are competing in the popular categories on the leaderboard or jogging their own silly things like eating babies. What a beautiful message for an extremely horrible purpose!
By the time it was finished feeding, Tomatoanus was beating at 18:51. I suppose it’s technically the world record time, right? Unless another intrepid cannibal prefers to challenge him.
If you want to hear more tomato wisdom, he has other fun jokes like having sex with everyone in Fallout New Vegas and speeding up the entire Fallout anthology. It was a casual Friday post, something for which I also found out the rules.