“I was really ashamed to say it at the time, and ashamed that I had to admit it to Harry in particular, because I know how much loss he suffered,” Meghan told Oprah. “But I knew that if I did not say it, that I would do it. And … I just did not want to live anymore.”
The Duchess said she had informed the palace that she needed to go somewhere for professional help, but she said she could not do it because it would not be good for the institution.
“What goes along with status, as with others, is a sense of shame, it’s a sense of this stigma that can lead to it being perceived as something wrong with, less than that someone has been affected,” Helen Neville said. , a professor said. educational psychology and African-American studies at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.
Stigma “affects everyone, and probably the people we least expect it to have an impact on,” said psychologist Hector Adames, a professor in the Department of Counseling Psychology at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology. “It’s like when we get sick with a cold: we’re all susceptible to it.”
Because a tall, public figure like Meghan was vulnerable about her problems, some people may be more willing to talk about their pain, tension, or feelings of being trapped or losing hope, Adames said. What Meghan’s interview does emphasize is that some of the challenges of getting support are universal, regardless of status.
Obstacles to mental well-being
The mental health stigma that can prevent people from getting help is because ‘we are socialized to believe that everything else is bad, as opposed to really celebrating our differences,’ Adames said. “We see that with race, we see that with gender, that everything that is outside the ‘norm’, that is white, that it is defective, is wrong. I think it also extends to mental health.”
Shame – another possible deterrent to support – can also arise from the lack of mental health training, which can make these conversations about mental health problems confusing, Neville said.
Some may think that their mental problems are their fault or within their control. If you are not trained, it can also mean that people do not know how to realize that their experiences can be a deeper problem. For example, one might think that his constant anger is a personality trait, when anger can be evidence of depression or trauma.
Like the Duchess of Sussex, some people struggle in silence because they do not want to burden other people with their pain – especially when loved ones are dealing with their own pain or stress, Neville said.
In addition, some people do not have health insurance and therefore have access to mental health care. People with health insurance sometimes do not have coverage for mental health services, cannot afford it or do not find professionals who are sensitive to their race, ethnicity, culture, gender or sexuality.
How we talk about suicide (or do not talk)
When someone calls for help, we tend to want to understand and be supportive, Adames said. “But the unique thing about suicide and people with suicidal ideas, is that it actually moves us to fear,” he added. “That fear paralyzes us, which in turn does not help the person calling for help, and then it becomes a vicious cycle, which increases the chance that the person executes the thoughts.”
Sometimes the confessions about people wanting to hurt or kill themselves can remind us of our own pain or suicidal thoughts, Adames said. One social society versus suicide is that it is selfish. If you have suicidal thoughts and want to tell someone, then know that you do not want to hurt other people, Adames added.
It is important to have at least one person with whom you can be defenseless, even if it does not feel good. Using the psychological strengths of your heritage, spiritual beliefs or connection with children or pets is also helpful.
“We often like, ‘OK, what can we do to not kill yourself?’ “Of course we have to try to help the person not hurt themselves,” Adames said. “But I want to encourage people to become curious and take pity on their desire to die,” wish does not mean, but rather try to understand the reasons for it from the person’s perspective.
“In listening, we can possibly create ways with the person to feel less trapped” and more connected, Adames adds. Suicide prevention is crucial, but the idea stage is ‘our window of opportunity’ to empathize and ‘help them create alternative ways that are more life-affirming.’
Where to get help
Meghan shared her story ‘because there are so many people who are afraid to vote that they need help’, she told Oprah. “I personally know how difficult it is not just to vote it, but when you say it, to be said no.”
Believe in yourself, and that you are not alone and what you are experiencing is not your fault. “It will get better,” Neville added. “It will not always be that difficult.”
CNN’s Joshua Berlinger contributed to this story.