DEAR ABBY: I have a 22-year-old daughter from my first marriage and a 9-year-old son with my 12-year-old husband. My husband is 57 and I have just turned 41. I want another baby, mainly because I want my 9 year old son to have someone to grow up with. We have no other family. It’s just him and girls’ cousins, 9 and 5. Can you please tell me. Give advice if my husband and I are ready or too old to have another child? – THIS CONSIDERS IN THE WEST
Dear consideration: I’m glad you wrote. This is something that needs to be discussed further with your husband to make sure you are on the same page, and also with your OB-GYN.
If you are planning to have your children grow up together, this should have happened years ago. As it stands now, the age difference of ten years will mean that your son will grow up and leave while your younger child is still at home.
A doctor with a specialty in genetics can be helpful when gathering information. It is important that you understand what precautions can be wise before making this decision.
DEAR ABBY: I have this dilemma. I’m a woman in my forties with a good job, and I’m told I’m a good catch. About six months ago, I moved in with a man I would call Peter. It started as a roommate situation but then became friends with benefits. We both agreed that we are not a couple.
The problem is that Peter has a friend, ‘Reggie’. I like Reggie, and he likes me. We visited several times as a group. To the best of my knowledge, Reggie has no idea that Peter and I are FWBs.
Reggie recently asked me for an appointment for dinner. I can see that I have a real relationship with him, but do not know how Peter will react. Do I have to accept the invitation? I mean, it’s just one appointment. Should I mention it to Peter too? – FWB IN THE SOUTH
Dear FWB: You and Peter have agreed that you are NOT a couple. Accept Reggie’s offer and talk to Peter about it beforehand. The only thing that can change is that Peter will have to find another friend with benefits, because the sexual aspect of your relationship with him may be over.
DEAR ABBY: I care a lot about what friends, family – even the general public – do with their money. I specifically promote the benefits of owning a home, but I suspect that my efforts to teach it need a more loving approach. I just do not want people I care about throwing away their money to their landlords. Should I be more loving and supportive of education? – COMMUNITY HELPER IN MICHIGAN
DEAR HELPER: People usually have good reasons to rent instead of buy. If you keep repeating your advice and it falls on deaf ears, it is reasonable to conclude that your message is not appreciated. A saying commonly attributed to Albert Einstein is: “Insanity continues to repeat an action repeatedly, but expects different results.” You can serve as an adviser, but only if these people want to make a change and ask for your help.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.dearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.