So I hear there’s a new scandal with the Australian Army?
Yes, there were further developments this week regarding the investigation into war crimes allegedly committed in Afghanistan …
No, no, sorry, I mean what about an ‘inappropriate’ action in front of our military top buyer?
Oh sorry, twerkers in red, not lunch boxes in pink, my fault. Yes, a dance group performed on Sunday as part of the official commission for the HMAS Supply in Sydney.
Back it up, back it up. What did they do?
Well, the navy had a new ship and had a little sociability to celebrate it, and seven dancers dressed in hats inspired by the army performed on the dock in front of various dignitaries. The ABC released a video of the routine on Wednesday.
Perhaps the routine is not surprising on the video released by the Navy. There are many drone shots of the ship (funded under a $ 90 billion defense program), seafarers marching in march and talking in uniforms about ‘diverse and professional’ crews and the ‘legacy’ of the ship. Oh, and Governor-General David Hurley spoke and called it “a cause for celebration” and “a great naval day.”
Speak to me through this performance.
Look, I do not really know my whips of my needs, but basically a group of seven women danced a bit, accompanied by a beating beat … I’m going to say dancehall music? I think you can hear Sean Paul in there?
It really was a wonderful scene: there is this hulking in Sydney Harbor, a tent set up on the dock about 20 meters away, filled with people in uniform and their finery sitting on plastic chairs, and between them a handful dancers in booty pants and berets just give it their absolute all.
It sounds really nice! I assume everyone had a great time?
No one was upright to dance from their seat. Some people can even say it was spectacularly uncomfortable? The kind of thing where you can not really believe what you’re watching? Some people may say that. General Angus Campbell, the head of the Australian Army, is shown to be watching rather expressionlessly.
The ship has, for whatever reason, a fleet-run Facebook page, and on it is a 90-minute video of the ceremony (again, the dance is not in it). It shows the kind of things you would normally expect from something like this: a brass band playing the national anthem, words of praise for Prince Philip and even a rendition of the Lord’s prayer. Maybe the dance was a welcome departure from the usual stuffiness? But there is also a point where you can just bird that some of those present are beginning to wonder if it was a very good idea to have these kinds of things at a government event, especially given the current national discussion on the treatment of women.
I mean, a little dancing seems less on the nose than saying, telling women not to go out alone while they are attractive, but I deviate. Did anyone enjoy this?
Those scallywags on the internet definitely did. People especially loved the treatment of ABC: shots of the dancers hitting their own buttocks with footage of the crowd, clinging to swords and pinning medals to their chests, and watching soberly.
One person who did not like it, however, was the Liberal backbencher and former soldier Phillip Thompson, who is quoted in the ABC story and complained that the ADF on the one hand ‘woke up a bit … we can not afford to be does not do it ”while also pressing his pearls over the dancers and saying, ‘I do not think it is appropriate to work.’
What the ADF needs is apparently less shrinkage, more killing. Andrew Hastie, the assistant secretary of defense and another former soldier, is also quoted in the story as saying that the army’s ‘core business’ will always be the ‘application of lethal force’.
O. Given the other, real scandal you mentioned at the beginning, it seems … a less ideal idea.
You can say that.