Zack Snyder’s track from Justice League is finally available to stream on HBO Max, and while the rabid fans who helped make it happen may have been prepared for the 4: 3 format, many people were a little stunned when they hit play today.
Listen, I was a fan of The wire. I understand. Artistic vision and all that. But a 4: 3 aspect ratio simply clashes with most modern devices. So I put together five videos that make the most of the widescreen-optimized phones, tablets, and TVs. Use it as palate for palate when finishing the Snyder Cut, or as a visual detonation valve when using the four hour long version of Justice League. The world is your banana.
1. This video of the banana orbiting the earth at the same distance as the International Space Station
This video is a few years old, but like all good internet pollution, it was picked up by the company of the World Wide Web and reappeared this week. It visualizes a simple premise: what if the banana was the same distance as the ISS? As Obi-Wan Kenobi famously said, “This is not a moon.” That’s for sure, Obi-wan. And we know this because we can see the banana in a beautiful widescreen with high definition.
2. This documentary about the weakness of the environment
The anthropocene certainly did terrible things to the environment, but we wanted to really should be eligible if a banana the size of North America orbits only 250 kilometers above the earth. This document uses the widescreen format to help viewers imagine the terrifying horror they may experience when they look up at the Banana in awe while tsunami sirens blare in the distance. It also really shines on OLEDs.
3. This art house movie about a child who loses his banana
They say loss is nothing but change, and change is nature’s pleasure. I say, do not diminish anyone’s personal grief, regardless of age. Look at this on a screen with a taillight.
4. This 90-second post from the Ad Council on how bananas are botanically a berry
Wait, I’m sorry, what? A berry?
I mean…
Look, I’m not going to argue with such a banana. Just, like … wow.
5. And for those who still need their DC Universe solution, this funny reload of Superman, in which the Banana orbits the earth with enough speed to return time and thus wipe humanity out of life.
The wind noise really does it for me if I am honest.