Putting limits on children is fundamental and necessary for their happiness, and their emotional well-being and that of the rodent. But in contrast to the fact that many people todavía creen, the limits can (and must) be without the need to recreate the prizes and castigos, the azotes, or the chantaje.
This is the basis of the Positive Discipline, which has the importance of setting limits on empathy, respect and ability. Lorena García Vega, Educator, Guides Montessori and Educator in Positive Discipline, we are here to educate our strong and respectful children. Because, like the same company, “educating with love is not synonymous with permissiveness”.
What are their limits and what do they serve?
Limits are necessary to educate the nieces and nephews on the truck of life, to see what is good and what is bad. Moreover, the limits of the entities that are bound to be communicated and related with other persons in order to be happy.
Positive Discipline is not based on imposing limits on adults, but is based on a profound and conscientious educational philosophy, so that it has no reflection on the consequences of its actions and seeks solutions. the probable cause caused.
But, tal and as our comment Lorena, it is important to be patient and trust in the results, can be taken from a job with goals to a large place. If so, and according to the Positive Discipline, how can we put limits on respect and empathy?
1) Make a participle of the limits
If we take into account the opinion of the child at the time of giving certain limits, he will be respected, listened to and valued, and this will generate a sense of well-being that he will accept in a better way.
Logically, the fathers will be established as a coherent pawn, in addition to being aware that there are limited limits that are not negotiable, as well as the relationships to their security and respect to the demas.
“A child has to show the mayor interest in accepting a limit if he has collaborated in establishing it. When the child has a maturational role that allows him to reason on the acts that are designed to have positive and negative consequences, there should be family members who can agree. the family in general has each member in particular “.
2) Set proportions limited and adjusted
Positive Discipline is an educational philosophy that does not result in humiliation, either for the child or for the adult. What he claims is that he learns to act well on his self-control, but for him it is important to set balanced and respectful limits for all.
“But it’s complicated to give limits, because on many occasions we do not know how to balance, one of the keys to guarantee that limits are proportionate and just, that they are humiliating neither for the adult nor for the adult”.
3) Mutual respect and cooperation
The Positive Discipline avoids these things: by a lad, to take care of excessive adult control and authoritarianism, and by other means, take care of the permissiveness, is to say, do not do what you want. For this, the limits should be able to base themselves on respect, empathy and cooperation.
“Limits must be based on mutual respect and cooperation, in this form we must also guarantee our sense of relevance and importance, we will cooperate in the acquisition of skills for life, and we will support them in the failure of their means. internal control “.
4) Actuar con amabilidad, geen permisividad nie
Lorena explains to us that when parents start dating, informing and applying the Positive Discipline, they want to make sure that they get rid of the excessively permissive, can confuse them with carriage and “amiability” with “excessive overcoming protection”, avoid manage the frustration.
“Positive discipline is synonymous with respect and validation of its sentiments. In this way, our words will be valued and given the value and ability to find a solution, as long as it takes its toll. , but make sure you are able to find the solution form) “
5) Make sure the new reflection is on its product
In fact, when we do not know how to make the limits that we give to our children are respected, we can take care of the prizes and awards, the greetings, the emotional chanting, the retreat of our carnage, the arrangements …
Therefore, we, as adults, want to monitor the situation through our impositions, without allowing our reflection on its conduct and consequences.
“To be able to castrate first, the adult has to” pill “only in the situation, in which case only positive or negative consequences will be experienced when the vein. Mentras not the” atrapen in full action “, the child will not learn to be responsible from its own property, it has not been considered the opportunity to try the consequences of its acts without adult control “.
6) Involve the child in the search for a solution
The company that proposes the Disciplinary Positiva, is not based on castigating, dar preke, ni that the adult assumes the control of the situation, sense in actuar with company and amabilidad for modular the behavior or the conduct of the nine, action participle of his acts and consequences.
“Normally, their fathers decide the limits to follow, and those who refrain continuously with castes and ceremonies. This alone provokes the appearance of rebellion and other negative consequences” – explains Lorena.
“If you can, when a child crosses a boundary, before they castrate or give a sermon in what the adult has done, they may ask them to involve them in their actions and to help them reason: what pasado? ¿de quera mannera podrías solucionarlo? “
“If the caste can be more effective in communicating the result, if it has the ability to reflect on its actions and collaborate on the solution, it will begin to create the bases of responsible behavior.”
7) Help to repair what you have
The Positive Discipline visualizes the error as a marvelous opportunity to learn, can all the mistakes, mistakes or errors, can be repaired. For this, if you involve yourself in the search for a possible solution, and be responsible for your actions and the consequences that you have for the time being.
“If our hijack has any contact with any behavior that perjures another person, in order to make it feel bad about what it has, it will be more recommended to focus on the next way:
Hacer que el nio piense en cómo se hubiera sentido si se lo hubieran hecho a él; es decir, trabajar la empatía.
On the other hand, it is important that the child finds the way to repair or solve what he has, in the midst of his possibilities.
“First of all, it is possible to discard what is wrong, but, in addition, depending on the oath that is taken and the right in particular, it will be possible to find a valid solution that will help to correct the error”.
The key is to teach our children that the importers do not know the consequences of their actions
In summary: our way of acting repercussions in our houses
The Positive Discipline brings us the opportunity to push the limits of respect, ability, firmness and empathy, in the way that our actions are repeated in the next step:
– Involving the younger estates in respect of their sense of belonging to a group and importance, in addition to being able to be listened to and held accountable in their opinions and sentiments.
– Motivating the child in his responsibility, we will help him learn from his mistakes.
– Trusting in him, we will encourage him to solve his mistakes without feeling sorry for him, humiliated or overbearing.
And all of this has a positive effect on the emotional well-being of the child, which has long been involved in an internal control system, without the need for the imposition of an adult.
Source: bebesymas.com
